Lowertown Offers Arts District Free of Sketchy Creative Types, Actual Art

Written by Steve

Saturday, 18 July 2009 21:02

This article originally appeared in the June issue of Bazooka Magazine.

Paducah’s ominously named Artist Relocation Program has been a resounding success, city leaders say. “I’m not surprised,” city insider Paxton Stooge said. “We did a lot of research to avoid the mistakes made by other ‘progressive’ cities.”

Stooge is referring to Paducah’s study of cities such as San Antonio and Denver,which have taken steps to attract a thriving creative class. “Those towns had a good idea, but boy did they mess it up! The way they did it resulted in a section of town that was full of gays, hippies, and other subversive types. There are whole blocks in those cities now that smell like patchouli and feet,” Stooge said.

While some would argue that true art by definition challenges the status quo and accepted ways of thinking, Stooge disagrees. “Oh, we don’t want anything like that. What we’re looking for is some nice, all-American art. Maybe a still life of some fruit or nice photo of the grandkids - the kind of thing that will appeal to the quilters. Fortunately, we’ve been able to set up our program in a way that ensures our artists are sufficiently white and middle class so that they’re unlikely to cause any trouble.”

Paducah’s Lowertown Arts District features numerous shops, galleries, and studios. Throughout the district you can find landscape paintings, pictures of pretty horses, and similar kitsch, but very little that is controversial, meaningful,or thought provoking. “We’re even thinking of giving it a hip nickname, you know, so the kids will think it’s cool,” Stooge said with a slick smile. “How’s everyone feel about LoTo?”

Add this page to your favorite Social Bookmarking websites