From the May issue of Bazooka Magazine:
Although I rarely watch the news on WPSD, I do get a lot of entertainment from their Facebook page. There’s a certain Carlinesque, nihilistic joy in having a front-row seat to the kind of willful ignorance that’s directly responsible for human civilization’s steady downward spiral towards Idiocracy. This ignorance is rarely more proudly displayed than during the Confederate flag “discussions” that the Channel 6 web monkeys incite every Tater Day and periodically throughout the year.
Also Known As: NA
Description: Ungnuzi are hideous humanoid creatures with tiny spikes all over their bodies. They stand between 3 and 4 feet tall and have slimy, sickly green skin. They do not have visible eyes, ears, or other sensory organs. Except for the small (1”-2”) spikes that cover their entire bodies, their heads are completely featureless. They have long, spindly arms and legs.
Also Known As: Bull of Minos, Infamia di Creti
Description: Minotaurs are large, muscular humanoid creatures with cloven hooves and bull-like heads complete with large horns. Their tough, leathery skin is typically black, red, or brown, but other colors have been reported.
BMA Classification: Minotaurs are classified as monsters by the BMA.
As a result of some comments Newt Gingrich made regarding food stamps, it's come to light that more white people than black people receive food stamps. About 42% of food stamp recipients are white, compared to only 28% who are African American. This of course presents a small problem with the "welfare Cadillac" meme, but "the 53%" needn't worry. With just a few minor changes, they can use the same tired old arguments to talk about how lazy whit people are taking their tax money. The following conversion list should prove helpful:
In November of 2010, the Oklahoma legislature approved an amendment that would make it illegal for courts to consider Sharia law when deciding cases. More recently, legislation has been introduced to make it illegal to sell food products made out of aborted fetuses. I, for one, am glad to hear that Oklahoma is boldly taking the initiative to ensure that there are laws in place to prevent things that have absolutely no chance of ever happening. However, there are still so many imaginary threats that Oklahoma lawmakers have yet to address that I fear they may be overwhelmed when it comes to deciding what the next battle should be. That’s why I’ve put together the following list of what, in my opinion, are the most pressing completely made up dangers facing Oklahoma and society as a whole. I hope that Oklahoma legislators will make it a priority to address as many of these issues as possible in the immediate future.